Can You See My Pain?

Parents, Be on the Lookout for Self-Mutilation

Is there a chance your child is intentionally cutting or burning his or her body? Before you answer with an emphatic "no," consider these alarming facts: Self-injury or self-mutilation — defined as deliberately and repetitively harming your own body without a conscious attempt at suicide — is on the rise among both boys and girls.

Middle schoolers, high schoolers and young adults are most likely to engage in this dangerous practice. Even prom queens, team captains and other accomplished children self-mutilate. Parents often are the last to know. Fortunately, there are things you can do to learn if your child is harming himself or herself and to help your child stop this destructive behavior.

Photo of teens and adults talking on a television set

The first step is to recognize the behavior, say experts who recently appeared on to "Keeping Kids Healthy," the television show filmed live from The Children's Hospital at Montefiore (CHAM). Look for injuries and other indicators that might tell you there's a problem. Parents may see scars or wounds on their children's bodies, or children may wear clothing or bracelets that mask arms and legs. They may get a feeling that something is going on, but their child is not expressing it. Emotions that precede self-injury include anxiety, shame, anger, depression and sadness.

If your child is self-mutilating, take a deep breath. Keep in mind that children who harm themselves aren't necessarily suicidal. Guest on the show, Alec L. Miller, PsyD, chief of Child and Adolescent Psychology and director of the Adolescent Depression and Suicide Program at Montefiore Medical Center, says it's important to try to understand what this behavior does for your child.

"Some of the most common functions of self-injury include punishing oneself, communicating distress to other people, reducing the intensity of emotions or feeling more numb," he says.

Next, talk with your child calmly in a nonjudgmental way. Acknowledge your child's feelings and let him or her know you're concerned. You may also want to consider counseling for your child and your family. Look for someone — a school therapist or guidance counselor, a social worker or a psychologist — who specializes in selfcutting or self-injury and who offers dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), an evidence-based treatment for those who self-injure. A counselor can use DBT to help your child identify the "triggers," or causes, of his or her behavior and find new and better ways of coping with emotional issues. DBT is offered at Montefiore Medical Center's Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and at other facilities and specialist offices.

Tune into "Keeping Kids Healthy" to learn the latest in children’s health from the experts. Broadcast on WNET/ Channel 13, Fridays at 2:30 p.m. and Saturdays at 6:30 a.m., on WNJN Saturdays at 6:30 a.m. and WLIW Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. Search for keywords "Keeping Kids Healthy" on video.google.com to watch episodes online or visit www.keepingkidshealthy.org to learn more.